Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
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