remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
