the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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