I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
