remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
