I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i dont even know how to be here
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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