How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
