It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
