How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
