this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
