i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
