hotel room ftw
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
