so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
