Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
