Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
