To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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