But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
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my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
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Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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