The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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