the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You ate ashes out of my bong
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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