spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
