From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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