"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
