Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
