Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize