3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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