this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
