some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Text me some of your sweat
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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