Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
