what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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