Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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