what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
The air was thick with penises
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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