NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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