please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
