I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
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