Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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