I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize