I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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