I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
two words...techno handjob
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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