i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
