yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
