I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
