youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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