The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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