exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
