She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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