the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
