Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
