Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
