If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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