you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
false alarm, still single
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
