We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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