Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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