omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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