pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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