please come you make the beer taste better
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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