We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
