If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
