I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
